Depression is real. It’s not a joke, it’s not romantic, it’s a terrible condition that causes fatigue, stomach pains, head aches, loss of interest, mood swings, panic attacks, etc, etc. People who suffer are not crazy, delusional, or melodramatic. Many of us fight suicidal thoughts because of the worthlessness we feel. Many of us are afraid. We just want a way out of the pain. We find it selfish that we should live for those who care for us. We live our lives either completely hollow or in absolute anguish. I can’t count the amount of times I’ve found myself writhing on the floor because of the pain, the terror, the unbelievability of how lost I had become. I can’t describe the moment when I realized I could no longer look at a flower and see beauty in its delicacy. I can’t begin to tell you about the numbness. For me, there was no future. I saw literally no hope.
It has been five years since I found myself wanting to run in front of a car during a leisurely afternoon run. And that was simply an instinct. That was only the beginning. It has taken five years to find a view of a future. To move away from the numb. To stop shedding tears on a daily basis. To understand that there is no shame in depression.
Don’t be alarmed. I’m still here and I have no plans of leaving. That’s why I’m writing this. There is a way to avoid the kind of severe depression I and millions of others have had to experience and are experiencing. Please, lend your ear. Listen. Stop avoiding people who are struggling and understand that what they are going through is real. Let’s stop hiding our anxieties, our depression, or fears. Forcing someone to hide their feelings, ignoring their emotions, or diluting them to pettiness is probably the worst thing you can do for someone who has depression. Most of the time all we need is someone to listen, to hold us, to let us cry, to let us throw our things against the wall, and let us know you are there. You don’t even need to tell us that it will be alright (I wouldn’t have believed you, anyway). Just by offering your care you are doing something we will tremendously appreciate, something that will give us the strength to get through another day. Because for most of us that is what we’re looking for – a way to get through the day.
Please. Let’s make it okay to talk about our suffering.
With so much love,
The Little Fit Sis