What I’m Tempted to Write in my Cover Letter

Potential Future Employer,

My history of depression will be an asset to your company.  I know my emotions better than I know my ABC’s.  I relate to moods and moments of deep turmoil in people’s lives.  I can read emotions and read between the lines of people’s words.  My depression has granted me the gift of intuition, which has never led me wrong.  If properly honed, it will prove to be valuable to the business.

I have interacted with individuals from all walks of life.  I have lived the life of a well off suburban girl.  I have wandered the streets of Dublin and tried giving coffee to a homeless man, only to never find him at the bus stop that morning or ever again.  I have spent weeks only eating peanut butter and saltines because I had $112 in my bank account and had to pay bills, rather than spend money for food.  I have traversed the streets of my town at all hours of the night because I like the feeling of not knowing what kind of situation I will run into.  I am often seeking epiphanies under the partially hidden moon, enveloped by the crisp fall air.  I have eaten peanut butter and saltines for dinner because I felt a different connection to life when I was without.

When passionate, I will have the greatest work ethic.  I want the job done and I want it done well.  I am honest and sometimes blunt, but always in good faith.  I have a dark history and sometimes must be excused from my work, but when I come back I return inspired, a better person than before, thus a better employee.  If I am treated well, I will treat your business well.

I am not a gay rights activist or a feminist.  I am a humanist.  I believe all of these movements collide into the rights of the human.  I will fight for everyone as long as everyone I am fighting with is fair and strays from hypocrisy.   I constantly hope that the naive will decide to educate herself, that the alcoholic will be able to put down her beer, that the rapist will come to terms with what she’s done and seek change within herself.

I do not ask for much.  I only wish to be surrounded by genuinely caring individuals who believe in themselves and those around them as much as I aim to myself.  I want to be surrounded by those who push themselves to understand and educate themselves not only in basic economical principles of running a business, but in order to push those they work with to challenge themselves by being inspirational and showing simple humanity.

If your business does not provide this, then I do not want to be a part of your business.

Sincerely,

The Little Fit Sis

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