Over the past few months I’ve been riddled with anxiety. Okay, no, let’s call it the past few years. However, it has become so bad that I’m anxious 24/7. I live my life feeling anxiety and this anxiety causes irritability and depression. As soon as it flares to a higher level, say when I’m around strangers, I become closed off to everything that makes life exciting. I want to blend into the wall and hide myself. I simply don’t want to be exposed or, in other terms, vulnerable.
But what is life without being vulnerable? It’s in the moments of vulnerability that we make the decisions to either welcome the beginning of the best adventures of our lives, or shut the door and always wonder what could have been. I want to embrace my vulnerability, but I do not currently know how to with my constant anxiety.
I texted a very close friend of mine, someone I consider a best friend, a sister, an absolute inspiration, and a stable ground, and talked over my anxiety with her. She’s in Hawaii and I’m in Western New York, so it can be hard to even schedule phone calls together. But her texts made me realize that I must be doing something wrong in my daily activities if I keep feeling this way. I know that something is wrong, but I haven’t been able to grasp what I need to fix it. What I need, I’ve realized, is a change in my daily routine.
My friend suggested that I start to become a sort of “morning person”. If I wake up earlier in the day, I can have time for myself and perhaps get things done a little bit earlier. That way, some of my anxieties about time will hopefully be quenched. She suggested a walk and then some coffee, and time to watch the sun rise and to be with myself.
I’m going to try this out. It has always been a dream of mine to be a morning person, but I’ve just never been one. I go to bed at 1 am, get up at 10 am, get my day actually started at noon. That’s just me. But I need a serious change. I’ve been working out, taking walks, drinking coffee only in the morning (I have a serious addiction to coffee that started in elementary school…), and I think I have to take another step and really change the pattern of my life.
This is not going to be easy. I’m the most difficult person to get out of bed in the morning. I used to scream at my mom for trying to get me up to go to high school (although that was partially because I dreaded school every day…high school had better not have been the “best days” of my life because it was seriously awful). I of course have apologized to my mom since…the poor thing, handling myself and my older twin sisters. But this will certainly be a challenge- A challenge I am so ready to meet.
So here it is, my first post in forever. Making changes to my life, slowly, but surely. Let’s see how it goes!
Have you tried this tactic before? I guess my friend had read an article on doing this to try to battle anxiety, and she’s been trying it out herself. What else have you done to try to help yourself? Has it worked, or is it still a new experience for you? I’m always look for ways to make my life less stressful, so please share!
Have a happy weekend!
The Little Fit Sis