The reality of life at 23 is not as glamorous as I had expected it to be. I remember promising myself that I would never move back home after college, that I would find a job wherever I went, that I could work two or three jobs if needed. I remember thinking I would have a pet and bring it on road trips with my girl friends. When I was young, meaning in middle school (yes, yes, I know I’m young guys), I fantasized about living in Ireland in a small cottage by the Shannon River. I would work at a local bookstore, and make money on the side writing stories and articles. Perhaps I would be a historian, and write about the cultures of the world around us.
The reality is, I live at home. I do not have a pet of my own (although Sophie, our family chocolate lab, is quite the cutie). I do not have money for road trips, for eye surgery (20/20 vision anyone?? so sick of contacts), and barely have enough money to pay my student loans, put gas in my tank, and feed myself.
The reality is, being in your 20’s is kind of brutal. What would I do differently if I knew what I know today?
Well, I would probably take a year or two away from school, to get a real world perspective on things. Maybe then I would not have changed my major four times, and transferred colleges.
I would have been way more true to myself in college, and stood my ground instead of succumbing to peer pressure.
I would have been involved with more of what I’m passionate about.
I guess being true to myself, and finding out what my values are early on, is what, ideally, would have happened.
But let’s face it. Do I even know these things now?
I’m still as lost as ever. Although, maybe I’m not actually lost. I feel far from independence, and the dreams I had as a child. But everyday I get out of bed and go to the job I chose to commit to. Every single day I am sticking to commitments I truly care about.
I told my students just yesterday, that keeping a blog can help me with my writing, with my professional life, and feeling fulfilled! I told them, three posts a week could really help me. Lately, I feel like my posts are not even well written. I am sincerely sorry for that.
Today, I have decided: I am making a new commitment.
- Service Position
- Blog -> 3 posts a week.
I would say that is a pretty good start to beginning a fulfilling and healthy life style after years of depression and anxiety. I learned from a counselor in Fredonia, that pushing yourself too hard too fast can actually put you on a quick path back to destruction. So, I’m taking it slow.
And, also, guys, I’m only 23!
Like, Woah. Time, much?