A “Now Age” Piece to the Depression, Anxiety, Insecurity (you name it) Puzzle

I picked up Material Girl, Mystical World by Ruby Warrington, following the advice of a 41HBf4ocHpL._SX320_BO1,204,203,200_family friend, and tired of the constant nag of depression that weighs on my shoulders day to day.  Being unemployed and having no income, still living at home, and unsure of where I want to go with a career is difficult.  It’s a struggle so many of us millennials are facing.  We spend so much on college, we want to reap the reward.  However, many have found the reward just doesn’t come.

I’m personally absolutely burned out by jobs that don’t cut it.  Part-time menial positions, jobs where the boss is an absolute ass, where the environment makes you feel like you’re worth less than you are.  Jobs where you are “talked to” for being too nice to clients or patients.  Jobs where, it’s clear, you’re working a job, not a career.

This, along with Linkin Park front man Chester Bennington’s suicide, have brought me to a need to find something more in my life, and something now.  Because, god dammit, I do not want to be the next victim of depression.  Because I want to learn from Chester’s death, and I want to memorialize him as the courageous human he was who did what he could with this time on this planet, touching millions of souls.

Circle back to wandering aimlessly around Barnes and Noble, taking a break from the Harry Potter binge I’ve been on.  Standing in front of the “dear god, this is so embarrassing, I can’t be seen near this” mystical section of the store, taking a deep breath, knowing that maybe you’re so obsessed with Harry Potter because you need to kind of live it in the real world…

Spotting the book right away (how could you not with its vibrant pink cover, and catchy title), and deciding- yeah.  I’ll give it a go.

By the end of the night I was already thanking the universe for this book.  For putting the mystical world into terms that are completely relatable to me as a human, as a woman, as a person with a pre-teen past in meditation, tarot, and Wicca.  As a woman deeply affected by her monthly cycles.  As a woman lost in the technological, total connectedness of our world (how many of us are actually connected).

Forgetting my, as Ruby Warrington calls it, ego (how I look, how others perceive me, how likeable I am, etc.), and finding a space within the mind where I can move past the cystic acne, the post-college “freshman” fifteen weight gain, and the inability to actually take the people I love out for a proper dinner.  Let alone buy work clothes somewhere other than Good Will, or being so focused on the work that doesn’t suit me.  Allowing myself to regard that spiritual side.  The inner mind.  That there is a point to nature in this incredibly materialistic world we live in.  That my outer experiences do not have to be my truth, and I can live inside myself as a whole being.

Ruby’s book is a warm, kind, passionate, and serious reminder that drinking soy lattes and buying gel manicures doesn’t equate to self-love if it’s the means to serious internal love for who we are.  The loving needs to be done for the mind, perhaps even more so in today’s world than for the external body.

The thing is I knew this once.  My entire middle school career was centered in the curiosity of the vast abilities of my mind.

I don’t know what made me stop, what distractions came about.  Maybe it was just life.

My take away is this: next time you begin to focus the transfer of self-hate on needing that $29 vibrant shade of lip, take a step back.  I’m not saying to not go for it – we all do need that external loving as well.  But what I am saying is, if you’re not feeding your inner self (your passions, social needs, dharma, physical exercise, mental health) then don’t expect this sexy shade to take you to the next level of absolutely loving yourself and ridding the anxieties, pain, and insecurities of daily life.

Material Girl, Mystical World has been a God send.  It has forced me to look directly into my spirituality, and what it’s lacking (everything).  My spiritual life is hungry, voracious even.

I’m finding what gets me in my “flow”, the state where I can put my problems aside because my attention is entirely focused elsewhere.  I’m meditating.  I’m allowing myself to find trust in my intuition. I’m actively seeking my dharma.  I’m distracted from desperate feelings of needing to find a career to center my life on.  And the thing is, I know this will lead me into the career right for me, even if I haven’t a clue what to make of my passions and desires now.

I don’t know what will happen next.  None of us do.  And I have my slip ups (panic moment just this afternoon, not knowing exact plans for the evening!).

But it’s a start.

And if something seems missing in your life, even if you’re not jobless or depressed, and feel like you have nothing to be feeling bad about…

Maybe try tuning in to your spiritual needs.  Material Girl, Mystical World is opening real doors of recognition and realization for me.  What will open yours?

Shannon

Order Material Girl, Mystical World here.

Visit Ruby Warrington’s online “Now Age” magazine, The Numinous.

 

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