Hi there! My name is Shannon, I am 24, and a recent college graduate.
I have loved writing since a little girl. I received my first diary in first grade, and since I have filled at least ten diaries, and have hundreds of documents on my computer. Journals and binders stretch across my room filled with scraps of thoughts.
I no longer consider myself a writer. I lost my love of writing somewhere in high school, where I became confused, anxious, depressed, and somewhere in this let go of hope. I became suicidal.
In January of 2015 I worked a string of overnights. I found myself in a tornado of mental break downs. My thoughts conspired, lingered, and I thought I was insane. I found myself at a crossroads when I realized I had to choose between life and death. In the next few weeks, I spent my time at work doing my job, but also crying and philosophizing. I brought a diary with me, a beautiful one my sister bought for my two month trip to Ireland a couple years before. I began to write, and write, and pour my soul onto the pages. At the end of it, I finally made a decision.
I would live. I would never take my life, or a life of anyone else. I would live through any trauma that came my way, all the embarrassment, dull moments, and agonizing pain. There was no other option for me. I would live, because I was here. As the Buddhists say, “Life is suffering”.
This blog is a map of my life. It is my feelings, my insecurities, my triumphs. It is an attempt to open up and embrace my former love of writing. It is for anyone else struggling to know that they’re not alone. That no path is the correct path. That you have to do what you feel in your stomach is right. We have to keep moving no matter how difficult our lives get. That’s just what life is.